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Day 1 : Negative Thoughts in middle of confusion

Updated: Apr 8, 2020

Hey everyone, hope you all are doing good at the time of existential crisis. This is day one out of 21 days of corona virus lock down in India. I am an aspiring filmmaker from Kutch Gujarat. I usually don't write blog but I thought I should give some time to keep record of things and it might be helpful to me in future. It should also help me looking at things the daily life in a better way.

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Big announcement of 21 days complete lock down in India by Prime Minister to stay at home and only go out for necessary supplies. Many show it coming when couple of days before when he announced 1 day Public Curfew. It was good step so people don't panic. But it has potential to change country forever after 21 days. But what there is no other option.

Most people will switch to mobile phone, ebooks, making videos, internet surfing, social media, streaming on YouTube Facebook Netflix Amazon prime and all but slowly they will get bored I mean there is a limit to everything. Sometimes it just strains your eyes so you have to keep aside your mobile phone. Also in coming days Facebook, YouTube, Amazon Prime, Netflix are going to reduce the quality to handle continuous traffic and provide services without going down.

Everyone has to find new things to do everyday which will not only pass their time but help to look at their inner potential and get to know more about oneself by living simple life. Although all poor people and people earning on daily basis are too much worried about their survival. It worries me so much thinking about such people. But what I can do much by sitting at home. To ease that, we started group online to provide help to people, whatever and however we can if virus spreads too much. I also asked local news website to revamp their design that appears on google, so locals can get all necessary information. I told them I will do everything for them for free and even host if for year. But decision still pending. This is least I could do. Government is also likely to announce soon financial package to help poor and put money directly into their bank accounts.

Let's get into how I did nothing and wasted whole day. This lock down does not bother me as I am home from 2 years and I go out very less. I edit and write scripts and manage everything at home in front of my lifeline - laptop.


Woke up at 11 🙄

Some positive energy that I would write 2 more scenes on short film to make after this crisis if we all make it. I was to complete that script in January and start production. But procrastinated it till march and now I cannot get over hunger of reading Covid 19 news and other info every second. But I have to do it to fight misinformation in country like this where suddenly whole media starts writing and reporting on hanta virus to gain attraction.

So brushed up and ate breakfast. Getting daily scolds from parents to not eat breakfast this late. It seems impossible to explain them that I can work good at night. Endless scrolls and time to take shower and then lunch. Again took phone out in pride and hours passed. I also tried to write first paragraph of this post by voice and it was awful. Closed it and planned to write in night after watching movie.

But in afternoon I listened to more bird noises around and everything was silent than usual. I planned in mind to edit one remaining project of mine in evening and watch a movie in night. Near 5.30 PM went down where PM was giving instructions. Debated with Papa to not go out and ate something and started laptop. Papa taunted that we will meet again at dinner and mummy meant that this was guest house and I went downstairs only for lunch and dinner.


After starting laptop, I again checked on phone and interacted in group and chatted with some. Opened twitter and checked what ICMR had to say on community spread. And again read news. One thing you should read less on Indian Media websites. You can check news but not good stories on those websites. Read India's news on Reuters, BBC, Guardian and on other such international media. There are less news on India but are good to follow. They never let me down if I had to debate with someone😉

If you read in local language, stick to newspapers. Also follow official sources like PTI, PBI and ICMR and ANI on twitter to get fastest updates on Covid 19. No middle agents. See how I get very attached to news. So time passed while reading many stories. Then watched something on YouTube, scrolled on Facebook and Instagram. I just forgot to edit and still writing 2 scenes in my script was delayed to night. Time for dinner.


After dinner, I sat in hall in front of TV and parents were beside me. Again debated and explained them how this disease is deadly and how we should take extra care. Then I went into too many thoughts like what if virus is already spread, what if policeman takes bribe and allows all to go, what will do if people not follow lock down, what will happen if there is panic and black marketers starts hoarding food and essentials. Papa told not think such things and stay positive. All steps taken will work and God is with us. This led me to thinking if God is truly there, why this suffering in first place, whether people eating non veg are doing right or wrong, virus will spread seeing not who anyone is, did China did it on purpose?

I got some plot points for a story which motivated me somewhat and I cancelled my plan to watch movie. What a tragedy. I have not watch single movie in last 20 days. Again took out phone and sat dumb. And chatted with some and already it was midnight. I will right about God and virus and China on some another day in depth.

So I came near laptop in which there was screensaver of radio signals coming from outer worlds. Again flood of thoughts started. I closed laptop and went to bed. Wrote some plot points in phone and thought how will I write this blog tomorrow. And thought what else should I do this days like farming, cooking, learning new things or reading more books. Then decided to first finish with script and edit the pending project. Also thinking of photographing every day but not sure how will I do that.

So first day passed reading stories on how economy and people will be affected and wasted my time doing nothing. One day I think I will write on how this Pandemic has some bright side when I feel over positive. I wrote this; today afternoon, I hope you will get some points here on what to do in boring days ahead. Thanks for reading by the way. Mind my English grammar mistakes!

I will also share my movie watch list in coming days. And also share how me and my friend have found a way to get into different reality which is just fun. Until then let's hope for a miracle.

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